i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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