Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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