Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
