So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
nutella sex= disaster
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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