I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
