Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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