just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
