How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
