what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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