1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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