too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
