Define "chronic" masturbator.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize