Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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