To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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