Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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