Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
