good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
