i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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