Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize