I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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