my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
