Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
