Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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