My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
