pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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