And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
