Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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