Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
