Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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