why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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