shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
