I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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