I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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