I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
