dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
