Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize