I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Randomize
