yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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