guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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