i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
