put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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