is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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