porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
