Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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