Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Watching her eat just hurts me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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