Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
