So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
