I bet he comes in French.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
