How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
