When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Boobs speak an international language.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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