Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize