UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
nutella sex= disaster
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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