Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
