sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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