My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
