We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
