just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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