You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
