Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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