ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
