jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
