I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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