I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
